Yoga Teacher Training, Day 1, Module 3

Back in class again...really cool to see my yoga friends and Dolly. Today in class we discussed meditation, women's issues like pregnancy and menstruation (and how one's practice is affected by these states), and our greatest challenge as yoga teachers.

Practice was deep stretch for 90 minutes. It was heaven. And since I haven't practiced for a month-and-a-half, it was a great way to ease back in. I did pigeon on both sides for the first time since March, I think, and it felt incredible...knees have held up! Of course, I've iced and Alleved, and hopefully they won't be screaming at me tomorrow. I pray. If not, that's a great sign. But I've decided that I'm going to resume my regular practice with modifications as necessary. Knees, actually, just my left knee, is not as bad as it was, but not getting to 100% despite so much time off. So I'm going to just listen to my body and take it from there. But even if it begins to act up again, I've got to start a serious home practice. As Greg pointed out today, I've got to show up, even for just 15 minutes a day. Imagine if I had been working splits or Pincha Mayurasana or Mountain Climber for just 15 minutes a day for the last month. I'd be a hell of a lot further along than I am now. There's no reason why I can't show up for 15 or 20 minutes. Period.

I have to sit still? For 10 minutes? Oy vey.
So on to the real challenge of the day for me: meditation. We talked a lot about it and I've tried it before, but have never been a big fan. We sat this morning for seven minutes, and that went well for me. We sat again for 10 minutes before finishing up around 5:00pm, and it was a different experience. My back was tired, my legs were tired, and I kept falling asleep. I was more fidgety than in our morning meditation and my thoughts were way more pervasive. What I gathered from this is that if I decided to add this to my list of things to do, it has to be in the morning. In the past when I've meditated at home, it has always been for about 10 minutes in the morning. Honestly, I think that might be enough time for mindfulness for me. It centers me and I wouldn't dread committing to just 10 minutes. I don't know...we'll see how the rest of the week goes.

I know the point of yoga is really to get inside, to get to the meditation, but for a very active person like myself, the sitting is actually torture. Apparently I have a long way to go in this department. But why can't I sit and meditate when I'm old? (OK, I mean really old!) I almost feel too alive to do it now. I can't explain it. I know I'm probably breaking some cardinal school of thought by saying these things, but right now, it just doesn't speak to me. Though I don't think this is a permanent feeling. I could eventually see myself picking it up. But at this point in my life, I feel like a caged tiger that's just been returned to the wild. Not really ready to be still. Not yet.

I REALLY Miss Yoga

Dude, this sucks. Boy, was that eloquent for an English major or what?

Still on the bench. Still no yoga. But my last module of yoga teacher training hits next week, so I'll get back to it full-on, and I can't wait. Have to modify, of course, but that's cool. I just really need yoga. Before the hedonist in me totally takes over. And I lose my splits!

On the Bench

Folks, it's bad knee time again. Well, not bad, but not progressing. You know what that means: no yoga. Right when I likely need it the most. So...no yoga, no yoga blogs. Unless, of course, the kids do something really profound (I am still teaching them about every other week). I have to give my knees a rest in order to be able to complete my last yoga teacher training module in late June.

The only good thing that's come out of all this knee bulls*** is I've been hardcore on the upper body/ab workouts. The result? I'm getting at least three sets of five-to-seven pull ups. This coming from the girl who couldn't do a single unassisted pull up a couple months ago. I'm hoping by the end of summer, I can get three sets of ten. You'd think I just won the Pulitzer or something. Sure, it's trivial, but when your life is blowing up and you have some little victory, some progress, you're just elated. So, I'm hoping with all this upper body/core work, when I finally do get back to yoga, I can rock forearm balances and handstands. Away from the wall. One can dream, right?

Funny: the very things I've hated upon first attempt are the very things I most look forward to trying again and again. Because I've forced myself into the challenge. And it turns out I like it. (It feels like I've written this before. If I have, forgive me. It's just so surprising, all this "forcing" myself into uncomfortable situations. So not me. Well, used to not be me.)

No yoga sucks, it really does. I miss class, I miss Rachel from Cuba (even if I hardly know her...I love to hear her talk, and she's the other person in class—unfortunately for her—with bum knees, so we keep tabs on each other), and I miss, more than anything, my precious time with Dolly.

I'm not sure why I've been benched at this particular time in my life, but I suspect it might have something to do with the need for a slower pace and introspection. I've done a lot of soul searching the last six months—no doubt yoga has had an influence there. I've learned to be more in the present, and as such, I'm having to evaluate where I am each day on that day. Not a month in advance. See, you can't plan your practice a month a time when your knees are screwed up. Just when I thought it was safe to start adding classes to my calendar for June, the knees flare up, and, well, that's why when it comes to my calendar, I write in pencil.

So, I've got no choice but to just chill. Sit back and evaluate. Take stock. Be glad for what I have right here, right now. Worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes. Know that it will work when it is supposed to.

Yoga Moms

Subbed a kids yoga class yesterday at a new studio on a tony side of town. Here's what I learned:

1. Teaching more than three kids at a time is a hell of a challenge (I might have had 12 in class)—I could've used a yoga class (or a martini) to soothe my nerves after that! They are fun and all over the place. Ages 4-10, I think they were, and all with different levels of attention and yoga aptitude.
2. You can't stop demoing yoga asanas with a group this big and with so many age levels. As soon as you stop, they stop. If you want them to flow, you must demo. Makes it hard to assist.
3. There are Moms, Soccer Moms, Stage Moms, and Yoga Moms. The Yoga Moms are a different breed from these other moms, though they share similarities with the Soccer Moms, I'm guessing. Since I'm not a mom, I don't have regular experiences with these women, but let me just say this: Yoga Moms are toned, tanned, and at least for appearances' sake, totally together. You won't see them frazzled, dragging themselves around in shorts, their husband's t-shirt, and flip flops. No, the Yoga Moms are pedicured, manicured, pressed, primed, primped and plumped to sheer and utter perfection. I've never seen anything like it. I looked at the studio owner yesterday as one mom rolled in, and while watching her and her girls make their way to the door, all I could say was, She gave birth to those kids? There was no evidence of childbirth on the woman. Amazing.

The Enlightenment Card (and it ain't from Hallmark...)

I've definitely, definitely seen it all now...though I have to say, the Enlightenment Card is tempting (yeah, I need another credit card like I need another handbag). It just looks so cool!

I'm totally serious, people! This is a bona fide credit card...here's a blurb about it from the site:

"The Enlightenment Visa Reward Card was founded on the idea that money is energy and if used with positive and integrative intention, can have the power to affect change in our lives and the world. Everyone uses a credit card, so why not have one where people can earn points towards positive products and services that enhances their overall conscious life? Some of the categories of rewards you can earn points toward are: Travel, Retreats + Workshops, Yoga Classes, Organic Products, Holistic Spa Treatments, Books + DVDs, Merchandise, or use your points to donate to a charity."